MuteChannel

Take And Receive

"Everything is going to be fine"... Definitely not what I believed...

She used to cared about me, I'm cared for her too. We used to spent time to chatted every day, no matter how busy we are, so we can shared everything that happened in two different life. When she happy, I smiled. When she cried, I sad. But things changed so fast, For the first time, she asked me to leave her alone... That few words hurt me badly, she said she just want to be normal friend? Can we?

Friend... But friend that went through more than other couples. Friend... What we shared is much more than friend. Listened to Eason Chan song named "婚禮的祝福"...these few days. The song described my future. If she find the man she like, If she want me to bless they happy together, I will even I felt unwilling to do so. If she want me to wished her happy even after, I will even it will break my heart. Just because she asked to... Wishing someone you love in their wedding, can they still be friend?

Words has been manipulated... "I love her" is from the bottom of my heart, she used to said she fell for me because of my sincerity. Even half... I happy... I really happy... But now, I still said "I love her", but she said I can't be selfish, love is both sides, she don't love me at all... My heart was bleed, but I don't felt the pain... But it bleed... We used to talked about past, we smiled and cried, something worth to remember in life... I remember... But now, she said don't talk about past, we should moved on. My heart was crying and tear was dropping from my eyes, this was not the first time I cried for her... I numb, but I am crying... I was...

I was confused and scared... For the first time I scared... She said we have no future, she asked me to leave her alone, I kept begging her and begging her... She so insisted to give up, asked me don't force her. I stopped... I felt guilty after she said that... Someone so friendly and nice to me today had become cruel, I don't know who she is anymore... I know she is gone...Gone...

I bleed but it painless, I crying but it numb... I took her words and promise what she asked for... I will leave her alone like she said... I will not talk about anything... Anything... I take her words. She received what she desired and what she want... If that made her happy. I want her to be happy... I will disappear for her life... I won't not appear in front of her if she don't want me too... I will pretend that we are stranger if we met if she want it to be... I won't not talk to her if she don't want to talk to me... If that make her happy...just to make her happy... I took... She received...

Love someone mean to make her happy, even I don't belong in her happiness... Just sad I can't shared her happiness and sadness in the future, when she laughed i can't smiled for her anymore... When she been hurt I can't give her my shoulder anymore... She tell me this is the end of us... I have to go... To make her happy... Her happiness had became my sadness...

I cried again... This time is the last time...