MuteChannel

Million Miles Away

"It had been a long time since we talked like this."

I walked side by side with her. After she listened to what I said, she just smiled without saying a thing.

"Hey..." I stopped her and I apologized, "I'm sorry..."

Without saying much this time, she replied "It's fine, you don't need to apologize..."

She smiled again. She decided to left me when we still in the college, and we didn't talked even since, both of us had graduated, and we both went separate way since that day. Wind started to blow and the evening was cozy, not much sun ray is coming through the sun today. She started to grabbed her shoulder, I knew she was felling cold and I passed her my coat.

"Thanks, I already received a lot of presents from you today, so now you want to give me your coat?"

She smiled and said. This time I smiled. This is her 26th birthday, it had been 4 years since last time we talked.

" I want to sit down, my legs was tired, then you can share with me about your exhibition in London and Berlin. You will tell me everything, right?"

She said it with naughty face and she smiled again.

"I will... I will tell you what you want to know..."

I nodded my head with a lot of thoughts spinning in my head, reminded me of my tough life as a designer in London and Berlin. And without her essence around me, my life was more difficult. Not far from us there was a old bench, the wooden bench looked so familiar, but I can't find the pieces from my memories. We walked there and sat on the bench. We talked about everything... My life and her life. Time passed so fast at that moment, but when she not around time was passed so slow, day was like a month to me.

" Are you leaving again?" She asked me with sadness in her eyes.

"Are you going to disappear again?" She asked again.

" This time I will stay... I will. I already settled my business there, life was tough without you, I watch over you this time..."

I holding her hand and said, this is the first time I really holding her small and soft hand. I remember my days without her and my tears was about to drop down, but I hold it on and forced myself not to shear a tear, just don't want her to see the another side of me...

Suddenly, sand went into my eyes and i trying to rubbed it off. But when I opened my eyes, I realized she was gone, she was disappeared. I kept search for his shadow around, and I saw a long hair lady walking away from me. Without hesitation, I running towards her.

I shouted out her name, but she didn't look back, and she just kept walking. I don't want to lose her again, so i just kept running and running. It 's strange, each step she took was like a mile, the more steps she took, the more further we are.

Don't know for how long I ran, I stepped on the hole and I fell down. All the dirt was went inside my mouth, and it stuck inside my throat. I coughed painfully, I hit my chest and hope the dirt will come out from my throat. I knew I can't waste more time, I stood up and run again. This time what I saw was her blur shadow, she was much more far away from me, and without turning her back on me, she just kept walking. i was so close to her, but I was like million miles away from her.

I ran and ran, my legs was like out of my control, I fell down for second time. This time, I had broken my leg, I tried to stood up but I fell down again. I trying to crawled as fast as I can with my hand, but just a while, my hand was full of blood and I realized my hand was injured. I stopped... I know I can't run anymore even I want to. I shear the first tear, and watch her walking away from me. Slowly, she disappeared. My throat was full of dirt, and I can't call out her name any longer... I just watched she walking away...

I woke up... I dried my eyes, and I realized it was just another nightmare of losing her. I knew it not much different from my reality. I only slept for 2 hours, I was so tired, yet I am so afraid to sleep these days. I afraid I will lose her in my dream again and again. I lighted the cigarette of my first day, and forced myself to work again.