My Lifestyle As A Designer Part 1

KL Design Week 09 and Earth Hour

KL Design Week 09 is held in Malaysia this year, it's the largest annual international design event. And KLDW is collaborated with Earth Hour to promoted "Become". "Become" is an exhibition projects that focusing on saving the environment and a campaign yo urge the public to "say no to plastic bag!". Of course, I don't want to miss the event by any chance, me and my copywriter friend was participated in this event.

One of the collection of 1000+7 designs
that showcased in KL CapSquare, carrying
'save the green' illustrated messages.

In the exhibition, they showcased both local and international designers works, and they also showcased college students' works. And we realized works from non-design college was far more better than the design college, from conceptualization to execution, they was really impressive! And we both agreed that we don't mind to pay them RM 3000 to work for us. It was easy to find a designer and there are a lot of them in our industry, but designer with good attitude, pure and original thought and ideas was getting difficult to find. Most of the students in our college was blinded and stuck up by their own pride and alter ego, that's why they can't manage to achieve anything! Shame on us!

Students' artworks from Taylor College, which are far more
better than most of our college students.

KLDW showcased both local and international designers'
works in Young Tigers Exhibition and Degree Show.

Beside help the students embarking on a new career in new
market place, it also help the local art and creative education
in developing their education modules and methodology.

After the exhibition, the time was almost 8.30pm, we went to the location where the countdown for Earth Hour was held. Joey G from Channel [V] was the host of the night, and Belinda from 8tv and other local celebrities was there, all of them was participated in the Earth Hour event. Too bad, we didn't manage to snapped a lot of picture that night, but we experienced the darkness in that 1 hour, without light... And it was not that bad after all. The objective of this event was not just to turn off the light, of course, it about conserve the energy and protect our resource. Some might think only one of them is useless, but if all of us was participate in saving our environment, we can make a different!

Beside conserve energy and saving our resource, Earth Hour
also brought people to gather around and to help improve
the relationship between people.

Numb

Getting used to word "lost" lately, first my heart, second my car key, now my laptop, real disaster was happening in my life! Today was a raining day. I met her today, but she treated me like a stranger, we don't talk to each other. But weird thing was she can smiled and greeted with my friend, just not me... My friends getting involved in my personal problem in the first place, and tried to decide for me what should I do, but in the end she begged me not to dragged my friends in this issue, I felt the pain and suffer at that moment... How foolish I am! She can settled the problem with my friends, but not me... It was like a black humour that happened in my life. She don't even bother to care about our problem compared to her problem with friends she just knew, I felt like a real fool! Maybe in her heart I was just a fool, two years was nothing compared to the friends she knew for few weeks, My heart was like a messed, more works is coming to me, just wanted to focus on my works. Now I wished so bad to graduate as soon as possible, and stay away from all this shit! Wished God can get me out from here now!

My Brand


non-element is founded in year 2009, non-element provided creative solution in building and improving our clients' business. It's where creative thinking and communication engages. Our business approach is to be creative, smart, honest and effective, and those beliefs driven us to achieve our clients and their business objective. Our creative disciplines and mission is to build a unique and distinctive identities for our clients' business, and we are passionate in both our clients' business success and the quality of our works.

Value Of Design
non-element is committed to enrich our clients' business with our creative thinking and design. We believed design across all aspects of business can sustain and create unique business advantage for our clients. Through design, we built an interaction bridge between our clients' business and their customers. We believe the process of design can inspire and enrich for everyone involved.

Brand Solution & Language
non-element is experience and expert in solving our clients' identity and business problems. We have extensive knowledge in brand study and design to achieve clients' business success, and we believe in brand value we create for our client to help them define their brand language. Brand language will deliver your business strength and everything you do, and your very own identity and brand becomes your triumph card in business.

Expertise
- Brand and identity communication: identity design, brand positioning, brand architecture, event branding, branding strategy, labeling and naming.

- Design & Communication: environment design, collateral and publications design.

For more information about non-element, please visit our website. non-element website is still under construction, please be patient. Our time is money, and we believe our clients' time is valuable as well, so we simplified our website and make it easy to understand to save our clients' valuable time.



Elementary is a subsidiary of non-element, and it's a non-profit foundation. We research and study brand in elementary to understand the fundamental and structure of our client brand and business. We analyzing our client business and their competitor in the market as well, and provide solutions and strategies that can solve their brand problems.

Million Miles Away

"It had been a long time since we talked like this."

I walked side by side with her. After she listened to what I said, she just smiled without saying a thing.

"Hey..." I stopped her and I apologized, "I'm sorry..."

Without saying much this time, she replied "It's fine, you don't need to apologize..."

She smiled again. She decided to left me when we still in the college, and we didn't talked even since, both of us had graduated, and we both went separate way since that day. Wind started to blow and the evening was cozy, not much sun ray is coming through the sun today. She started to grabbed her shoulder, I knew she was felling cold and I passed her my coat.

"Thanks, I already received a lot of presents from you today, so now you want to give me your coat?"

She smiled and said. This time I smiled. This is her 26th birthday, it had been 4 years since last time we talked.

" I want to sit down, my legs was tired, then you can share with me about your exhibition in London and Berlin. You will tell me everything, right?"

She said it with naughty face and she smiled again.

"I will... I will tell you what you want to know..."

I nodded my head with a lot of thoughts spinning in my head, reminded me of my tough life as a designer in London and Berlin. And without her essence around me, my life was more difficult. Not far from us there was a old bench, the wooden bench looked so familiar, but I can't find the pieces from my memories. We walked there and sat on the bench. We talked about everything... My life and her life. Time passed so fast at that moment, but when she not around time was passed so slow, day was like a month to me.

" Are you leaving again?" She asked me with sadness in her eyes.

"Are you going to disappear again?" She asked again.

" This time I will stay... I will. I already settled my business there, life was tough without you, I watch over you this time..."

I holding her hand and said, this is the first time I really holding her small and soft hand. I remember my days without her and my tears was about to drop down, but I hold it on and forced myself not to shear a tear, just don't want her to see the another side of me...

Suddenly, sand went into my eyes and i trying to rubbed it off. But when I opened my eyes, I realized she was gone, she was disappeared. I kept search for his shadow around, and I saw a long hair lady walking away from me. Without hesitation, I running towards her.

I shouted out her name, but she didn't look back, and she just kept walking. I don't want to lose her again, so i just kept running and running. It 's strange, each step she took was like a mile, the more steps she took, the more further we are.

Don't know for how long I ran, I stepped on the hole and I fell down. All the dirt was went inside my mouth, and it stuck inside my throat. I coughed painfully, I hit my chest and hope the dirt will come out from my throat. I knew I can't waste more time, I stood up and run again. This time what I saw was her blur shadow, she was much more far away from me, and without turning her back on me, she just kept walking. i was so close to her, but I was like million miles away from her.

I ran and ran, my legs was like out of my control, I fell down for second time. This time, I had broken my leg, I tried to stood up but I fell down again. I trying to crawled as fast as I can with my hand, but just a while, my hand was full of blood and I realized my hand was injured. I stopped... I know I can't run anymore even I want to. I shear the first tear, and watch her walking away from me. Slowly, she disappeared. My throat was full of dirt, and I can't call out her name any longer... I just watched she walking away...

I woke up... I dried my eyes, and I realized it was just another nightmare of losing her. I knew it not much different from my reality. I only slept for 2 hours, I was so tired, yet I am so afraid to sleep these days. I afraid I will lose her in my dream again and again. I lighted the cigarette of my first day, and forced myself to work again.

Restless Night

Assignments and Works... Ton of them are waiting for me to finish it. Tired and exhausted in this moment, but there still a lot of it I have to do. Only two reason why I still awake at 5 a.m. while most of the people are already in sleep. One of the reason was I have to forced myself to worked until my limit, so I don't missed her at cozy night like this. Another reason was I had to finish it! Either I do it or ignore it, and ignorance was not one of my characteristic.

Little Value In Life 01: Learn How To Win Win

Everyone wants to be a winner, but if you win, is it there someone that have to lose? No matter in games, sports, business, relationships or even arguments, no one wants to be a loser and that is the true fact. But is there an ideal way both sides can win? I believe it is, but do you believe in it?

About twenty years ago, before I was born... There were an special Olympic that held for the disable people. And all the participants were a winner from different category of sports, and they were chosen to participate in this running competition. They nothing different from normal people, just they having thinking disorder, and that is what normal people so called retarded.

Same rule applied to this sport game, winner get the reward and loser get nothing. The game started and all of them run their heart out, and they carried one purpose... To win. But in the middle of the running track, a twelve years old boy fell down, and his leg was injured. he was unable to continue the competition. One of the participants noticed the boy, and he stopped and turn back for the boy. The other participants saw him going back for the boy, all of them went back to help the boy, and they finished the race together. And this is the only Olympic that all of the participants are winners. And those are the people we called them retarded?

They are disable people, but they understood the theory of win win, yet we called them retarded? but do we do that in our Olympic? One of the runner from China fell down in last Olympic, but all of the other participants care about was how to win the race. Try to compare normal and retarded people, we understood the theory but yet we don't do it, what for we been given a normal body and mind?

Wars and conflicts happened because we won't tolerance, when you win, then must be one side have to lose, sometime in the end, both sides might be lose as well. So many people had died and suffered because of win and lose, and this theory can used to apply on every small things that happened in our life, someone have to take the first step to do it and someone have to start it. So why don't we started to win win from this moment?

Bright Sun At Daylight, Crescent Moon At Night. They Connected Because Of Mother Earth, But So Sad They Will Never Meet Each Other. Is That What Happened To Us Too?

Rain Clouds

Monday, March 16, Rain

Raining again... I was stared at the rain drops, it was just like my moody heart. Memories was flashed through my head, pieces by pieces... I wondered again... I wondered what she doing at this moment. I took out my phone and I felt like give her a message. But the fact is I didn't, I know she want to be alone and I don't dare to do that. Was it nothing to remember about the past? She used to appreciated people around her, that was what made her so special... She owned an angel heart, that what made I fell for her... But she was different that day... Words she used so like a sharp knife stabbed into my heart, it made my heart bleed and I felt like a fool... The rain stopped and I stopped thinking, I packed my stuff and leave the place.

My Secret Garden

She had gone... She had left... For 6 days, but it seem like another long 6 months for me. I still listening to her favorite songs, but i don't dare to hope for anything, I know clearly I can't and I don't deserve to do so. And I know clearly i have to go back to my secret garden again, a garden without flowers... It's my comfort zone, not I like it inside, but I know it is the only way to be numb... To everything I used to recognize and love. The love didn't disappear, just I locked it inside my secret garden... And I won't let it come out anymore... I back again... To my secret garden...

泪流成河

还来不及拉着你小手，你就已经离我而去，
原以为我们有了约定， 就能一起共享回忆。

醒了我还是闭住眼睛，只有这样能留下你，
我紧闭眼晴屏住呼吸，很怕泪水吞噬心情。

还没记住你点点滴滴，回忆竟已不能连续，
谁知道在白天遇见你，根本就不敢看着你。

睡了我不敢睁开眼睛，流干眼泪不能呼吸，
很明白你已离我而去，我只能让泪流成河。

听见朋友祝福的声音，以为我们能在一起，
站在远方角落望着你，唯有回忆你的背影。

我俩酸甜苦辣的回忆，难道已不能再连续，
不让你看见我的泪水，在寂寞让泪流成河。

Routine

Good to see my friend get back to the routine, your friend was passed away, he leaving this world, but maybe better world is waiting for him. If I gone, I don't want to see you sad for me too, I know he felt the same. The time you can cry is finish, put an ending to it... If i see you ever shear a tear, I will kick your sad face down to hell! Lol

Gone

Bad Things just happened around us, without our control... One of my friend's friend just passed away today, everything was happened all of sudden. He's sad... Sadness is what I saw from his face... I don't know his friend, but I felt his sadness. People came, and they gone. It is the nature's law, we can't fight it, and we can't escape it, when the time came, we have to just accept it. So sad...

I see your cried today... I helpless... You are someone so close to me but I can help... Let me share your sadness, i already used to it.

Don't be sad, my friend! Cry it out loud! My shoulder is with you as long I still here! You done the same to me when I sad... when I shear my tear...

You borrowed me your shoulder... Countless time... I remember it... I can tell you, I always here when you need me...

I forgive you when you did wrong... I always will... So don't blame yourself... Please don't...

You can make it through... My friend.

Take And Receive

"Everything is going to be fine"... Definitely not what I believed...

She used to cared about me, I'm cared for her too. We used to spent time to chatted every day, no matter how busy we are, so we can shared everything that happened in two different life. When she happy, I smiled. When she cried, I sad. But things changed so fast, For the first time, she asked me to leave her alone... That few words hurt me badly, she said she just want to be normal friend? Can we?

Friend... But friend that went through more than other couples. Friend... What we shared is much more than friend. Listened to Eason Chan song named "婚禮的祝福"...these few days. The song described my future. If she find the man she like, If she want me to bless they happy together, I will even I felt unwilling to do so. If she want me to wished her happy even after, I will even it will break my heart. Just because she asked to... Wishing someone you love in their wedding, can they still be friend?

Words has been manipulated... "I love her" is from the bottom of my heart, she used to said she fell for me because of my sincerity. Even half... I happy... I really happy... But now, I still said "I love her", but she said I can't be selfish, love is both sides, she don't love me at all... My heart was bleed, but I don't felt the pain... But it bleed... We used to talked about past, we smiled and cried, something worth to remember in life... I remember... But now, she said don't talk about past, we should moved on. My heart was crying and tear was dropping from my eyes, this was not the first time I cried for her... I numb, but I am crying... I was...

I was confused and scared... For the first time I scared... She said we have no future, she asked me to leave her alone, I kept begging her and begging her... She so insisted to give up, asked me don't force her. I stopped... I felt guilty after she said that... Someone so friendly and nice to me today had become cruel, I don't know who she is anymore... I know she is gone...Gone...

I bleed but it painless, I crying but it numb... I took her words and promise what she asked for... I will leave her alone like she said... I will not talk about anything... Anything... I take her words. She received what she desired and what she want... If that made her happy. I want her to be happy... I will disappear for her life... I won't not appear in front of her if she don't want me too... I will pretend that we are stranger if we met if she want it to be... I won't not talk to her if she don't want to talk to me... If that make her happy...just to make her happy... I took... She received...

Love someone mean to make her happy, even I don't belong in her happiness... Just sad I can't shared her happiness and sadness in the future, when she laughed i can't smiled for her anymore... When she been hurt I can't give her my shoulder anymore... She tell me this is the end of us... I have to go... To make her happy... Her happiness had became my sadness...

I cried again... This time is the last time...

Stupid Headache

Headache again... Unbearable pain again... Shit... I still got a lot of works to do, at list give me some break. You can come to me after I finished my works, You can tortured me whatever You like after I finished my works. Charges of me getting headache are higher each day, hated it when they visit me at the wrong time, can't manage to complete my works. Shit! Later I still have to attend to the training! Better get well soon! I can felt something is wrong with my head, first headache,second eye bleed, third vomiting. Think I should find a day and go to check on my head.

Family Day

Too much issue happened lately, I decided to went back my hometown to have a break. I know I won't have time to go back anymore in the next few months. I saw my brother, I shouted out his name and laughed to him. "You are getting smaller!" I said. He laughed... I passed him the T-shirt I bought to him, this time he smiled. Every time I went back, I shared my knowledge with him, this time I told him the story of "Why thumbnail is the best?". He smiled again... I want to shared everything I know with him, if I gone one day, he still can use what I taught him to live his life. I told my mom everything that happened while I out there, of course I told her all the good news. I know I can't tell her my right eye was bleed, I can't tell her I got a lot of works and stressed. I don't want her to worried about me, I decided to kept the secret... After that, I walked out from my house, looked at the blue sky and lighted my first cigarette. The smoke tell the story... She knew I stressed, "Don't smoke too much...", she didn't said much. I turned my head and smiled. I took a bath and went out again, it been a long time since last time I visited her. Since my grandfather passed away, she lost a old partner to talk, to share, to laugh... She happy to see me, kept touching all over my face, I smiled. I asked her again, "You should stay with us, so you won't be alone." She declined, and I didn't ask anymore... She was so used to this place, lot of memories was here before, I know... It just too difficult to leave it behind, I will do the same too. I took my family to dinner... Shopping before I go back, so I can spent more time with them. My father is about to retire... No! He was supposed to retire by now. But he still worked for the sake of my education. My mom was supposed to enjoyed life now, but she still need to take care the family so I can focus on my study. My brother was about to graduate, he will go to college soon. And for me, I have to make sure everything is fine, I want my parents to enjoyed their life, I will make sure my brother have a good education. Time passed by, I have to go again... Go back to my works and problems.

What Kind Of World We Living In?

The world is small, but it is not big as well. People are getting selfish and careless... Just to make sure they won't have difficulty in their life, but how about another corner of this world?

Today I went to my training, just like other days. I parked my car quite further away from my training agency, so I had to walk for quite a while to my destination. Not far away from me, there was an Indian with dirty clothes. He is walking with his bared foots, probably walking under the sun had cause his unprotected foots bleeding. We used to walk with shoes, shoes was seems so normal to us in these days... When we get bored of it, all we need is change a new pair of shoe, but how often can he change a new shoe? I don't dare to think of it...

He walking toward few people whom passed by him, trying so hard to get some money to fill up his stomach... But rejection and ignorance is what he received. From his dirty appearance and long hair, probably he was smelly... Maybe that's the reason why people won't bother about him... Or maybe people are getting careless...

He walked to me... The Indian was finally crying like a child, tears was dropping from his eyes. This is the first time I saw an adult crying and begging like baby, I felt so sad that someone have to do this just to survive... He started to begging me to give some money to him... Nothing much that he said... When someone starved to his limit, all he can do is throw away his pride... and begged as hard as he can... He said: "Indian is dying, Nepal is dying, I need to eat! I just want to eat! Please..." He said it along with some Indian language which I don't understand... But i knew that he need something for his stomach, yet he was so scared of me. Poor man... he won't even dare to stand closer to me, In this moment, I knew his self esteem has been gone for long time... World don't do this to people, it is people whom done this to each other.

Without second thought, I brought him to the nearest mamak stall to have something for his stomach. I saw all the wound and scar on his body... Probably it was made by people while he trying to begged for money. Five dollars was what it took to filled the poor Indian stomach, i gave him another five dollar to him after he finished the food. Those money I probably will spend on another pack of cigarettes, instead of that, I doing something else more meaningful which is helping a homeless man to survive, why not? I asked the question to myself. Sometime, with small amount of money we can make a difference, but that small amount was seems so important to most of the people.

Countless thanks was came out from his mouth, but that mean nothing much to me... He still have to go through the same experience tomorrow... A day after tomorrow... Until he was unable to do it anymore... Nothing much i know about him, he from Nepal, he had to went through rejection everyday, he had to beat by people everyday, then he had to go back home...The dirty alley or street we walked everyday was his home... We saw it most of our day, but ignorance was what we do... Pretended they are not exist... He slowly went away, but what I saw was a man who lose his pride and dignity... Or are we steal it from them... Who are we?

Sometime, we can do something about this world, yet we chosen to be careless... That Indian reminded me of my old best friends, the college where I am was something they can't afford. He reminded me they used to begging other people to lend them money to study... Nothing much I can do to help them... I don't have power that time. Instead of worrying my problem, I forgot people that might have bigger problem than I am... What I been through is nothing compared to them...

How shameful I am...

Wasted

Today was a long day... Definitely was another tired day... Rained as usual, just like my mood... Stuck in traffic jam, just like my love life. It was just another daily routine for me.

Went back from training, another headache again, unbearable pain was what I felt... this time it left faster, how glad I am. I'm glad of lot of things that happened in my life... Good friends I had made, bright path of future I had created, supporting family I had, Most importantly, I had found the one in my life... Which a lot of people can't find in their whole life. I was glad... Glad is what I felt...

But today I was not happy, Disappointment is what I felt... Stupidity is who I am... It been a long time since I felt like this. Surprise is not what I need... It doesn't mean something good to me, too many unexpected surprised that occurred in my life. But I do need support... Lies is not what I want... Lies are not much different from surprise for me, too many lies i had listen all these years. But I do need honesty...

Support and Honesty, something simple but difficult to achieve... Words are easy to said, but it's different when do...

I don't need people to made my decision, took control of my life. i don't need people lied to me, just to made me feel happy... Is that the true happiness? Everything I 'm glad is faded today...

I'm tired... I'm confused... I pissed... I'm angry... No more strength within me to fight back anymore... I just wasted another day fighting with the one I love, what i think I know are hidden in the thick mist. I hated it...

Disappointed is what I felt... Stupidity is what I felt... One was my love one... One was my best friend... They get the worst out of me today.

That is a phrase that someone said to me long time ago, "Lying and hiding was human nature, honesty was just a fantasy." I don't believe it, but now I doubt about it. I think I can slowly adapted to that theory.

Long Break

Yesterday was a long day for me, I had a long training session from 10 am to 9 pm. I'm happy that I finally completed the first stage, but tiredness was haunting me for whole day. After training, I quickly drove back like usual... Not because I was too tired, and not because I felt sleepy... After reached my messy place, I quickly signed in to my messenger, wished that she was online... Sadly, she was not there. Possibilities are playing in my mind...

"Was she Sleeping? Maybe She was tired."
"Or was she busy for something?"
"Maybe she was went out with her friends..."

I laughed at myself... but just for a while... And I thought "She need to have a break, she had ton of works waiting for her... She should enjoy her life." I smiled again. Because there was something tied between me and her, but we can only talked through a screen. It was so near, yet so far...

I received a call from my friend, asked me to yam cha with them. Without second thought, I quickly agreed, because i haven't had my first meal of the day. Like usual, we crapped... bull shit with each other... laughed, and shared... They unlike my other friends, all we talk is works, works and works, so their conversation with me was surrounded by works. That reminded me of "I do need a break sometime..." Headache suddenly striked my brain at that moment... Like it never was before. I felt the pain in my head... Like someone was whacking my head. It stop for a while for few seconds, then it came back again... And again. I felt the pain, it was miserable yet suffering. For about half an hour, the pain left me. It was time I have to went back and rest...

Quickly, I took a bath. Then I signed in in to my messenger again, wished that she was there this time. We chat for a while, She sent me few emails, I opened the emails. One was about creative advertisments, I felt her understanding towards me... she knew me. Then, I opened the second email, I smiled... Reminded me of sometime I should take a break and have fun. For the third, something I havent see before, I laughed this time... After finished, I continue the next one, this time it made me afraid... scared. It was about a couple that about to marry next day, but her fiance ended up dying on the bed... The day before their marry. The cause was tiredness cause his internal organs to malfunction. I always didnt get enough sleep, it was getting worse since I joined the training...

That moment, my right eye became blur all of the sudden, like something was blocking my sight. I started to rubbed my eye, the pain was so unbearable... I looked at my hand, stain of fresh blood was on my right hand. I quickly rushed to toilet, at that moment, my mind was empty... Because I don't know what else to think. My right eye was bleeding...

It never happened to me before, I tried to comforted myself... Nothing was wrong, I was just too tired... After cleaned my face, the pain slowly faded away. I ended the conversation, I knew I need to rest. Lot of things are playing in my mind in that moment... The email I read... My right eye... That might happened on me, what will happened to her if we started a relationship? She will suffer for sure. Thought of that, made me so afraid to take a step anymore, that one step is seem so far away from me... Thought I was ready to started a relationship, but at the same time I was so worried I can't take good care of the one I love... I was so scared not because I afraid to face death... I was so scared she will crying for me... I was scared... If I was about to die tomorrow, I wished we had started our relationship earlier... So the time we be together is longer. Now, I told myself not to take that step anymore, so she will never get hurt.

I was too tired... Without few minutes, I slowly closed my eyes... and took my long break...