Light And Smoke

Here I goes again...
Trying to burn away all my problem, and hope all the sadness and stress flying along with the smoke.

But just for 5 minutes... The problem still remained unsolved, I still need to solve it technically. Each time I done that, the grim reaper is moving one step closer to me, slowly but deathly...Not everyone is lucky till they can cheat the death and slipped away from the grim reaper! I hope I'm one of them, but who's know? Not that I afraid of death, just not now... I need more time, more time to let my family enjoy their life, more time to be with the one I care, more time to get my works done... And more time to let me achieve all of that.

Have to continue on my works again, there are tons of it... Or else I'm really death before the grim reaper get me...

Sitting in front of computer by myself and trying to concentrate on works... and the "friend" at midnight I can counting on to keeping me awake...

Here I goes again...

Voice Within Muteness

Too many possibilities in our life sometime, we can't never expect what will occur in the future. But when the time it was happened, everything was too late... But in my career, I able to predict the good and bad possibilities before execute it, so I can choose the best possibility, or leave the worse possibility before it was happened. But in something that involved emotion, I have seem to lost the logic and analysis skill that I so proud of...

This time, I do predicted the bad possibility that might happened. For the worse case, I might even get myself hurt badly in the end... Yet, I still kept searching and wishing for the best possibility, hope it will end up happily like another Cinderella story.

How foolish and stupid I am... tried to pretending that the bad possibility was never going to happen! Sometime I even laughing at myself...

Farewell seem to be so familiar to me... Someone used to done the same to me. It felt just like thousand of needles are stabbing toward my heart, and I don't like the way it felt...I believed no one will like it... But what can i do? try to pretend I don't feel the sadness... Or pretending to laugh like I'm happy... Don't wanted it to happened again, that feeling and situation... Just not going to happened on me again... So There will never be "goodbye" from me...

My February 14Th

Valentine's Day... It had been almost three years since last time I celebrated Valentine's Day... Almost forgot the existence of Valentine's Day.

It Had been a long time... Since last time I bought roses. Tonight, I gave roses to someone I really care during the dinner. Usually I don't believe in what roses defined, somehow I do believe today... Just for today. Maybe roses told the words that I couldn't tell through my mouth. How pathetic I am...

After a simple dinner, I brought "she" went to a park... Just wanted to looking for a place that we can talk intimately. We talked about everything: past, present, future, me and her. During the conversation, I kept staring at the clock needle, wish so bad the time was never exist. Too bad... I know I was lying to myself, time was passed by so fast. I had to took the last glimpse of her face and send her home.

After I sent her back, watching her back that is so familiar to me and slowly leave me behind. No matter how, I'm glad she is the one that spent time with me in this Valentine's Day, and not someone else. Don't want anyone replace her in this February 14Th, and any others February 14Th... hated God when he doing this to me... Damn God!

We had been through so many in these two and half years.
Joy...
Falling...
Sharing...
Laughter...
Sadness...
Happiness...
Warming...
Separation...
And get together again...
So many memories behind an ordinary story, it was definitely more than ordinary love... For that reason, she was someone I want to be with in my life journey. But somehow everything seem to be so further away from me...

The Midnight Mute Show

The Midnight Mute Show, presented by MuteChannel... We're often used voice to express our feeling from the depth of our heart. I wondering can we still do the same without the existence of voice?

Yes, we can...
Mute is not disability...
Mute is not speech disorder...

Yet, At MuteChannel, muteness is all about language and expression. When I was sat side by side with the silent of night... When everyone is resting and ready for better tomorrow...

Here I am...
The Midnight Mute Show!